Another weekend of perfect riding weather forecast, another pass out, another sorted ride planned with some mates, another bout of stomach upset, another failed weekend split between bedroom and bathroom. Grrr.
Those of a sensitive disposition look away now.
Seriously I don't want anyone complaining this post is gross, I gave you fair warning.
To be honest the ride had already fallen through, neither Johnnie or Simon could make it but Johnnie reckoned he'd be up for a local so spitlers edge was looking promising but I awoke 2am Sunday with a well dodgy stomach, Mrs had been throwing up during the week so I instantly knew what was gonna happen. We'd had Fajitas for tea and I really didn't wanna see those again, as it turns out it wasn't so bad so whilst still bent over the toilet bowl waiting for the next heave I started compiling a top 3 worst boaks ever. (told you this wouldn't be tasteful)
At 3 we have barely chewed Gammon. I was 13 on hols with my parents me and my sisters had spent most of the afternoon rolling down a massive sand dune making ourselves dizzy. Felt queasy for the rest of the day. Had Gammon for tea which as per usual for me back then I wolfed down. We then went watching indiana jones last crusade at the cinema, just as they got to the Venice boat scene my stomach had enough I walked briskly to the bogs had trouble finding them didn't quite make it. I spewed in the cubicle but didn't quite hit the toilet, whoops. Feeling like death I went back but a few mins later had to go for another go, sprinted this time made it to the cubicle just in time only to find it locked, went for the next one but the delay meant I liberally sprayed the floor of this one. I can only apologize to the cleaners at Newquay cinema.
At 2 Tapas. Work do, La Tasca's, nice, spicy spanish food, absolutely zero stodgy filler to soak up the copious post prandial alcohol (Chinese or Indian you get rice, with tapas you get nada) Spicy tomato puke, bleurgh. Horrible.
And at number 1 we have, well wait and see. Mine and a mates birthday, ooh 9 or ten years ago, we went for a curry, had a right laugh in the curry house - but that's another story. As was pro forma with my mates at the time some found eating food a necessary evil and were in a rush to get to the boozing while the rest of us finished. The other birthday boy and a few others went over to the vodka bar. I followed a little later, no sign of BB but there were my mates offering me a shot, ok cheers and I necked it, chilli vodka, you gits! They told me the other lad had already had one and had run to the bogs to throw up, I kept mine down ok but it didn't half burn (on top of a hot curry too) The night continued, ended up at someones house supping vodka til, well dunno, whatever time sunrise in march is. Now I've generally got a pretty strong stomach and very very rarely throw up on a night out but if I've really over done it, my stomach tries to sort it out, tries for a good few hours too then decides it's had enough around lunch time the next day and gives up. Anyway me and my gf went home and had a bit of a snooze, got up later felt crap for a while then tried our usual hangover pick me up, tuna mayo sarnies and tomato soup, she felt better i didn't. Sure enough a bit later I barfed, chilli vodka and tomato soup burned it's way back up my throat and out my mouth and more disturbingly my nose. Ow ow bloody ow. Worst ever. Since then I never neck a shot without tasting it first and I stick to fryups the morning after.
Feel free to share yours :-)